


I'm Not The Only One, Am I?

by NothingIWontGive



Series: Starring Role [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Almost everyone is mentioned, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Haunting doesn't count I wrote that along time ago, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I didn't want them to suffer any longer, I haven't wrote for this fandom in two years, I suppose that this is a band au, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Its super fluffy at the end, M/M, Matt is a mess, Matt is depressed, Matt is done with Shiros bullshit, Matt is insecure, Matt need a hug, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending, Shiro (Voltron) is a Mess, Shiro isn't actually a bad guy, Songfic, but not actually, but not really, shiro cheats alot, there are mentions of suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:55:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23292838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NothingIWontGive/pseuds/NothingIWontGive
Summary: You call me crazy, but I'm not the only one am I?Matt doesn't trust Shiro though all the shit he has done.
Relationships: Matt Holt & Pidge | Katie Holt, Matt Holt & Shiro, Matt Holt/Shiro
Series: Starring Role [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1116588
Kudos: 6





	I'm Not The Only One, Am I?

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure you should read the previous fics before this, but if you don't want to, you'll just miss out on specific details that reference those fics.

  
Shiro needed to step the fuck up. That would be what Matthew Rosanna Holt Would say if you asked him about his relationship with the older man. If you got Matt to talk about Takashi Shirogane. They were fucking married and Shiro would constantly revert to his old habits. Of course, this didn't start until after they had gotten married. After they had made their vows, vows that promised them both to each other. The eight years before they had gotten married were perfect. Over those eight years Shiro was perfect, of course, he had a few bumps. But he hadn't cheated again over those years, he was faithful.

Apparently, being tied down to Matt set off his old ways. He had started sleeping around again, and Matt had started losing hope in his husband. He had spent more time than he should have had to fixing Shiro. He only married Shiro when he thought the other was stable enough to fully hold their relationship. Of course, Matt had to worry even when Shiro wasn't cheating. He only wanted to feel in love, to be in love. And he was in love, he always has loved Takashi. They had been friends since they were six, they had gone through everything together. Matt was by his side when Takashi came out to his family. Matt was there when the other had gone through every single break up, when Shiro actually cared when someone left him. Matt felt if he were anyone else Shiro would have cheated long before now. Matt was his longest relationship. He thought they were going to be fine. Matt was done now.

Matt was lucky he worked as a licenced therapist, he knew why Shiro was like this. He knew ever medical term for the impulses that his husband had. He had made his husband go to one of his coworkers to talk everything out. He wanted his husband to get through it, he wanted them both to get through it. Matt had been in a few sessions as well, Shiro's appointments were after the usual hours, only because Narti was one of Matts closest friends, and very blind. She was the perfect psychologist for his husband. She would also not take any of his bullshit. He and Shiro agreed that if there was something that may hurt their marriage, Matt would be called in. Matt really thought that they were going to have a great marriage. Narti had been there through everything involving Shiro and Matts relationship. 

Matt was in a band, it was only a small thing, to relieve stress from work. They weren't the worst, they got gigs once and awhile. Matt should have known that it was going to go horribly. Matt should have known that leaving Curtis and Shiro alone for an hour would end horribly. Matt should have known that Shiro would fuck up his happiness, just like he always does. So when Matt came back to the room he left his husband and bandmate in, he felt himself crack. His husband was already cheating at that point. Curtis knew what Matt and Shiro had gone through. SHIRO knew what they had gone through. But why was Matt surprised? He knew that he wasn't going to be happy anytime soon. Matt gave up, he just let it happen.

Matt was going to get revenge, and he was going to make his husband know it.

Matt had not let Shiro touch him. When his husband asked why, he just gave a flirty wink and left the other alone. He intentionally dressed in his husband's clothes. He did this for every occasion, from work to loungewear. He knew his husband had always loved it when he was in the oversized clothing. Whenever they went to the store together, he didn't allow Shiro to get the stuff from the top shelf. He didn't allow Shiro to carry the bags. He made Shiro know that he would be fine without him. He would just smile a sickly sweet smile at his husband when he tried to insist. He would tell him that he was fine, tell him that his husband wasn't that only man in their household. Matt wasn't weak, he went through the same combat training Shiro had. He followed a similar routine to his husband when it came to exercise.

When they went to the gym, Matt would wear too tight clothing as well. He wanted his husband to know that Matt knew was he gorgeous. Matt made sure of that, he would stick to the machines he could do by himself, without the assistance of Shiro being his gym partner. And when Shiro asked, he would make sure to flirt with him while making the man suffer as much as he could. During planking he was always asked to sit on the other, so he would do so digging into the others back as much as he could. Matt wanted to make his husband hurt, in the physical way he would never cheat on someone like his husband had. He would never do that to the love of his life. What he would do was make him know that Matt was done with his shit, and if he wasn't going to cherish him, then he would leave him without a thought. He had to deal with his husbands bullshit for too long, and he wasn't going to put up with it.

Unfortunately for Matt, his husband was a fucking idiot.

Matt had come up with a new plan, sing out his feelings. Embarrass his husband. Lucky for him their wedding anniversary was very close. So he planned on having his band performing, but he was going to do something extra special for his husband. And if his husband didn't get the hint, Shiro had lost the only person in his life who had helped him, without getting paid. 

On their anniversary Shiro and Matt had booked a lovely venue. And by venue, they meant that they booked out the local bar Matts brother-in-law ran. The bar had a perfect stage for Matts band, there was seating facing the stage. It was perfect, they had everything set up. Matt thought it looked like a trashy version of their bachelor party, which they decided would be cheaper if there wasn't only one and that their groomsmen worked together. Matt's groomsman was, in fact, his younger sibling. And they made sure to make Keith's side of the party wouldn't ruin absolutely everything. 

When Matts band finally took the stage he saw his husband blow a kiss to the stage. To anyone who didn't know about Shiro's recent bullshit they would have thought it was to his husband. But Matt knew better, so he just smiled sickly sweet at the crowd, "Hello folks," Matt said into the microphone, "I don't feel that we need to introduce our band. I'm sure you all have seen us loudly playing in the garage, most of you practically live at my house," Matt cracked the joke and smirked as the crowd laughed. 

"But, if you don't know who we are," Matt said, still smirking, "we are the Rebel Fighters!" Matt halfheartedly shouted. "I'm Matt, the groom of this party and the lead singer. Though I do occasionally play the guitar, which you will all see after we finish our set, it's an anniversary gift to my husband. He's the old man in the front row, y'all better know him too," Matt laughed softly. "Anyways, these are my band members. Pidge there is my sister, she is filling in for that lovely woman back there. Olia is our keyboardist, however, she and her stunning girlfriend are expecting a baby anytime now. So none of y'all offer her a drink, she'll look at you oddly. And the people behind me are the rest of our little group of rebel fighters. Our newest addition is Curtis over there who is replacing my old friend Te-osh who unfortunately decided to move in with her dork of a daughter," Matt grinned at the pair who were in the back of the bar. 

Matt nodded to his bandmates and they started their first song, "When I stupid and young my love left to be a rock and roll star. He told me ' please don't worry' wise little smile that spoke so safely," as Matt sang he kept eye contact with his husband. "Bye-bye baby blue. I wish you could see the wicked truth, caught up in a rush, it's killing you. Screaming at the sun, you blow into. Curled up in a grip when we were us, fingers in a fist like you might run. I settle for a ghost I never knew, super paradise I held on to. But I settle for a ghost."

Matt moved to sit on the front of the stage as he sang the next lyric, "He'd stay and treat his lady, give everything to his new baby. I miss him don't you blame me. That boy went stone cold crazy, caught up in camera lust," he squinted his eyes at his husband when he said lust, looking the other up and down with disgust. He got up as the song ended, sighing into the mic as they stared the next song.

As the opening notes to Homewrecker started he moved to swing an arm around Curtis, "Every boyfriend is the one, until otherwise proven. The good are never easy, the easy never good and love, it never happens like you think it really should. Deception and perfection are wonderful traits. One will breed love, the other, hate. You'll find me in the lonely hearts, under 'I'm after a brand new start'," Matt moved his gaze from his husband, who looked slightly confused, to Curtis, "they call me homewrecker, homewrecker." And as that song ended Matt smiled and moved to be at the front of the stage once more.

As they continued with their set, some som=ng s=much happier than the first two, others around the same theme. And when their final song ended, he took the guitar that one of the members handed to him. He smiled and sat at the edge of the stage again, "Curtis, can you sit next to my husband please?" Curtis looked confused but did as asked, "now this song is dedicated to my husband. We've been married for so long, I got him through a few things that most of you knew about. Especially you Adam," he gestured to the newcomer, "thank you for joining us, and thank you for not hating me." Matt smiled as Adam sat down next to Matt on the stage.

"As most of you know, Adam used to be Shiro's fiance, which I did not know when they broke up, which was one hundred percent my fault. But it needed to be done, sorry Adam," Adam just shrugged and smiled as he leaned into the mic, "Its fine, we probably would have broken up sooner or later. I didn't have enough patience for his bullshit like you did," as Adam leaned away Matt started to strum some noted on the guitar.

As Matt started he looked at his husband once again, "you and me, we made a vow. For better or for worse. I can't believe you let me down, but the proof is in the way it hurts. For months on end, I've had my doubts. Denying every tear, I wish this could be over now, but I know that I still need you here," Matt was starting tear up as he got up. He began walking towards his husband, slowly taking his ring off. He and Adam started singing when he was halfway to his husband, "you say I'm crazy, 'cause you don't think I know what you've done," he was standing in front of his husband now, "but when you call me baby, I know I'm not the only one," Matt placed the ring in Shiro's hand. Crying as Adam started the next part of the song.

"You've been so unavailable. Now sadly I know why your heart is unobtainable. Even though you don't share mine," Adam sang as Matt continued crying when Adam finished, Matt turned around walking back to the stage as they sang the chorus. Matt sang the next part, "I have loved you for many years. Maybe I am just not enough. You've made me realize my deepest fear by lying and tearing us up," Matt sat on the stage once they began singing the chorus once more.

When they finished the song, Adam left leaving Matt, who still had tears streaming down his face. "I trusted you Takashi, why would you do this to me?" Matt questioned into the microphone, his voice cracking. Shiro just sat there staring at the ring that was in his hand. "I don't think I can take it anymore, I have given you plenty of chances to stop fucking up our relationship. I thought this time was fine, I thought you would finally stop. You were doing so good before we got married. But then I found out you were sleeping with your boss at work? We confronted that, you said you would get better. Then you slept with one of your coworkers, we confronted that as well. It has become a cycle, you sleep with someone, I confront you, and you say you'll get better. But you know what the final straw was Takashi?" Matt paused for a moment, "not only did you sleep with Curtis, you thought I wouldn't find out. I am done with your bullshit Takashi, if you don't stop now I will file for divorce, You will never see me again, and I will make sure of that. Everything we own is in my name, but guess what? I don't want any of it, we bought them together. And I don't want to live in a house without the man I thought was the love of my life. So, do you have an explanation for your actions this time? Or are you going to let me go? Break another person who loves you, scatter their remains."

Matt waited for five minutes before speaking again, "did you know I tried to kill myself when you and Adam got back together again? When you pretended that you never knew me? I'm lucky Pidge came to visit me, even if that meant having to talk everything out. Even if that means that my own sibling is my paticent. I was so glad that they cared enough to save me. But you weren't informed, I told my family to never tell you. I thought by hiding it that you wouldn't feel burdened. Because I grew up with you, I know what you went through," Matt stood up sitting directly in front of his husband. 

"That wasn't the only time I tried a method of killing myself, a week before we started dating, I tried overdosing on sleeping meds, but my dormmate saved me. And I went to that club after I was released so I could be surrounded by people. So I didn't feel alone, and I was so glad that I was saved. Sure you and I danced around each other for a few months, but I was happy."

"Then we broke up after a few months, I didn't try to kill myself that time. You immediately promised that you wouldn't cheat on me again. I knew it would be a struggle, but we got through it together," Matt said, holding the hand that didn't have the ring in it, "was I not enough for you?" He questioned at the man who was now looking at him with tears in his eyes.

It was a few moments before Takashi reached his hand out cupping the others face, wiping away the tears. "Matthew, you are enough," he said softly, "it's my fault that you feel this way. But I didn't sleep with Curtis," he said looking softly at his husband, "when we were in the military, you and I, he was one of our squadron members brother. Remember Luis? Curtis wanted to give me Luis' tags." 

Shiro smiled sadly, "Luis' passed away from cancer a few years ago, and his family couldn't find us anywhere. We had just gotten married, and they didn't have any of our information. They searched the wrong names each time, Luis never called us by our actual names," Takashi kissed the others forehead, " White and Red," he whispered.

Matt only cried harder, "you should have told me, you fucking idiot!" He just sobbed harder, "then I wouldn't have ruined our anniversary party," he pouted, burying his head into Shiro's chest. 

Shiro just laughed softly, "does this mean you'll marry me again?" He questioned, moving his hand towards Matts ring finger. "What do you think, dumbass?" Matt mumbled, taking very little time to add a quiet, "we weren't divorced yet, were still married," followed by an even quieter, "yes." And with that Takashi put the ring back on his husband's finger.

After sitting there for a few moments, the people around them chatting away, Shiro looked down at his husband, "I think we need therapy." Matt was silent for a while.

  
"I agree."


End file.
